A gift for a grandson you only see now and then
29/10/2026
Gifts for a grandson from Nana and Grandad: find out what he has and what his parents don't want, a rule based on visits, and ready-made words.
Don't choose a gift for a grandson you only see now and then blind: first ask his parents what he already has and what they don't want in the house, then let how often you see him guide you. If you see him every week, you can give him something to play with at Nana's. If you see him a few times a year, give him something that will remind him of you between visits — and add a few words of your own.
What's in this guide
How to find out what he has and what his parents don't want
The most common mistake grandparents make isn't bad taste, it's out-of-date information. The grandson you remember from the summer holidays may have swapped dinosaurs for rugby since then, and the building set you're about to buy might already have come from his other nana. His parents know all this — it's just that nobody asks them specifically enough.
- 1Message his parents earlyAt least three weeks ahead, so there's time to order. Not "what would he like?" — the answer to that is "don't buy anything". Ask about three specific things (there's a message you can copy further down).
- 2Ask what he already hasEspecially with building sets, kits and collections where pieces get added. Two identical boxes are worse than none.
- 3Ask what they don't want in the houseNoisy toys, lollies, yet more soft toys, screens, toy guns — every family has its own list. If you know beforehand, his parents won't have to make excuses later and quietly put the gift away.
- 4Ask what he's into right nowA favourite character, a sport, an after-school activity, an animal. This is the information that goes stale fastest, and it's how your grandson can tell you really know him.
- 5Coordinate with the other grandparentsOne line passed on through his parents is enough: "We'll do books, you do toys?" It saves two identical presents under the Christmas tree.
The deciding rule: how often you see your grandson
The less often you see each other, the more the gift should carry your relationship, not just an afternoon's fun. A toy he gets and, a week later, forgets who gave it to him won't help you between visits.
| How often you see him | What works | What to avoid |
|---|---|---|
| Every week | Something that stays at your place: a building set you share, a game, garden tools. The gift becomes a reason to come over. | Big toys to take home — his parents run out of shelf space fast. |
| Once every month or two | Something that continues: a book series, a collector's album, a course or activity for half a year. | A one-off craze nobody cares about a month later. |
| A few days a year (holidays, special occasions) | A gift with your mark on it: a book with a dedication, a photo of the two of you, an experience for the next holidays. | Something picked off the shelf "for his age" — that's where you're least likely to hit on what he's into right now. |
| Lives far away or overseas | Something you can come back to from a distance: a book you read to him over a video call, letters, a countdown calendar to your next visit. | Fragile or bulky things by post, and gifts that need you there to help. |
Gifts for a grandson by age
Age is only the second filter — the first is what his parents tell you. Still, it helps as a guide. For a granddaughter, there's a similar overview in the article gifts for a granddaughter by age.
- Under threeThe gift really goes to his parents. Ask them more than usual and keep safety in mind — small parts and button batteries don't belong in a toddler's hands. What else to watch for is covered in the article what to avoid in a gift for a little one.
- Three to fiveDress-up and pretend play, a first bigger building set, books to read aloud. The age when a gift he sits down with you to enjoy pays off most.
- Year 1 and Year 2Books for his first reading on his own, a first watch, gear for an after-school activity. He's starting to have interests of his own and wants someone to take them seriously.
- Eight to twelveCollecting, sport, gadgets, longer books to match how long he can stick with reading (there are ideas in the article books for kids aged 8–10). An experience for just the two of you — a day trip, a game, a workshop — often beats a thing at this age.
- A teenage grandsonLet him choose: a voucher, money with a clear purpose, or a shared experience where he picks the date. A surprise based on your taste rarely lands at this age.
Gifts that carry something of Nana and Grandad
If you don't see your grandson often, look for a gift that clearly comes from you. Not necessarily an expensive one — more one he wouldn't get from anyone else.
- A book with a dedicationAn ordinary book you loved as a child, with a few lines on the inside cover. It will stay on the shelf longer than most toys.
- A personalised book where he's the heroA story in which your grandson appears under his own name and looks like him — all it takes is one photo of him, which you can ask his parents for. The digital version is usually ready within 15 minutes and costs NZ$14.99; a printed hardback can be ordered for NZ$69.99. How a book like this is made is explained in the article a personalised book for your child.
- A shared experience with a dateNot "we'll go somewhere together sometime", but a ticket or voucher with a set date — he has something to look forward to and you have a visit you can count on.
- Something from the familyGrandad's tools for a first workbench, a pocketknife for an older grandson, an old map. With a short note saying where it came from and who it belonged to.
Ready-made words: a message to his parents and a note with the gift
The first example is a message to his parents; the rest go on a gift card or in a dedication. Change the name and add one specific memory — that's what turns a sentence into a message.
Money or a thing?
Money isn't a sign you don't care, it just lacks the thing that makes a gift from grandparents different. So for younger children, give it together with a small item or a note saying what it's for — "for a new bike when you outgrow the old one". For teenagers it makes sense on its own, as long as you give it in a way that means it won't vanish in a weekend; the article how to give money as a gift covers the options.
If you're planning a Christmas present, think it through before December — that's when his parents' lists are longest, school's wrapping up for the summer holidays, and the other nana will be in touch too. There's an overview by age and type of child in the article Christmas gifts for kids.
Sources
- Public library summer reading programmes — Free summer reading programmes run by public libraries over the December–January holidays — a good thing to share with a grandson when he's staying with you.
- Storytime by RNZ — Free New Zealand audio stories and songs for children, including Lynley Dodd and Joy Cowley — handy for listening together, even over a video call.
- Product Safety New Zealand (MBIE): recalls — Product recalls in New Zealand — check a toy you've bought online.
- Commerce Commission: children's toys standard — Enforces the mandatory toy standard for children up to and including 36 months (Product Safety Standards (Children's Toys) Regulations 2005 under the Fair Trading Act).