Gifts for toddlers: what to avoid and why

Toy safety standards measure small parts with a test cylinder that neither the toy nor any detachable piece of it may fit into completely. At home, a toilet roll tube gets you close — it's a little wider than the test cylinder, so the home version is stricter rather than more forgiving. Run every new toy through it before you wrap it.

A swallowed bead is a mechanical problem: either it passes or it doesn't. A lithium button battery is a chemical one. If it gets stuck in the oesophagus, it creates conditions that burn the tissue from the inside, and it only needs a few hours to do it. A flat battery from a remote control can do this too — the voltage that's left long after the toy has stopped working is enough to cause damage.

The riskiest items aren't the toys you're thinking about when you shop, but the things around them: light-up sneakers and bracelets, books that flash and play tunes, musical greeting cards, digital thermometers, remote controls, kitchen scales, LED tea lights, key rings, the bathroom scales. They arrive in the child's room as presents nobody thinks of as toys, so they never get checked.

So when you're shopping, look at one thing above all: the battery cover must be held shut by a screw. The second thing is labelling — a toy with no brand and no traceable manufacturer is exactly the kind nobody has tested for small parts or a secure battery cover, and the kind that later gets recalled. Store spare batteries out of reach, the same way you would medicines, and don't leave used ones lying in the rubbish bin at home.

If you suspect your child has swallowed a battery, go straight to the emergency department — don't wait to see whether symptoms appear. Don't give them anything to eat or drink, don't make them vomit, and take the battery packaging or the toy with you so the size is clear. On the way: Call the National Poisons Centre on 0800 POISON (0800 764 766). The call is free and the line is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week; the centre has been run by the University of Otago since 1964. If the child is unconscious, having trouble breathing, or the Poisons Centre tells you to, call 111. The other safety checks for this age group are covered in the article gift safety for the youngest.

A soft toy is the most common present for a small child, and also the thing every child's room has most of. Yet a child bonds with one, two at most. The rest becomes scenery that nobody cuddles but everyone tidies, washes and moves from the bed to the floor.

The problem isn't one teddy — it's the mechanism: a soft toy is a present you can't get wrong, so it's what everyone reaches for when they don't have time to think. The result is a basket where the child can't find anything, because there's nothing to discover in a heap of twenty equally squishy things. And the more soft toys there are, the less often the one that really matters gets washed.

Rather than adding to the pile, it's more practical to thin it out: put some of the soft toys in a box in the wardrobe and swap them with the ones on display every few weeks. The child greets the "new" ones as if they'd just been given them. And if you're the one choosing and want a present that won't vanish into the pile within a year, look for something with the child's name inside — a book where they're the hero, for instance. It has no batteries and no small parts, it has 12 illustrated spreads, and the digital version is usually ready within 15. Presents that outlast the toys are the subject of the article keepsake gifts for a first birthday.

The last category isn't dangerous, just quiet. You can spot it with a single question: who's doing the playing? When a toy talks, sings, flashes and drives around on its own, all that's left for the child is to press a button and watch. Before you buy something like that, put it through four tests.

Lists of things to avoid tend to keep growing, so for balance, here's the other side. Plastic isn't automatically worse than wood — what matters is the size of the parts, how firmly they're joined and the labelling, not the material; a wooden toy with glued-on eyes is more dangerous than a well-moulded plastic cup. Second-hand toys from people you know are fine; just give them the same check as new ones, because they've been through a few extra washes.

Worrying that your child will get "too few" presents doesn't lead anywhere either: a child under three can't compare the number of parcels, but they can compare how much time someone spent with them. And a toy the child puts aside after a week isn't a wasted present — some things simply suit three months of development and then get outgrown. The only mistake is one you could have seen coming.

The hardest part of "what to avoid" isn't choosing — it's telling grandparents, relatives and friends in a way that doesn't sound like a telling-off. These three messages are ready to copy and send.